I can't offend you more than I offend myself..

I’m feeling a lot of doubt, in myself as a person, as an actor, as a woman/girl/female (it doesn’t feel right referring to myself as a woman but that’s an issue I’ll have to leave for another day).
I wonder, all the time, so much so that it’s almost not worth mentioning, whether I’m deluding myself with this whole acting malarkey. But that inevitably leads to thoughts of whether I’m deluding myself with this whole life business.
Sometime in my past, somehow, I latched onto the idea of acting to give myself a purpose. And now, at 28 years old, I’m returning to the moment when that decision was made and once again asking, “what now?”
And so indeed, what now? If not an actor then what? A director? Well, that’s just as delusional as the so-called career I’ve already got. An Olympic equestrienne? Hah! A teacher? Where’s the bottle of cheap wine and sleeping pills please. A writer? Well we’re back to the impossibleness of the realm of the actor and director. So….
A prostitute? Financially lucrative but I’ve never been much good with men. And I have tiny breasts. A dog trainer? Wonderful fun but pays just enough to keep a small poodle in kibble for a couple of days with owner living in cardboard box. Hmm…. I’m drawing a blank. What else interests me? Retail sales manager? I can see my future now. Forty-five and dressed like a girl, telling some insecure brat that she looks ‘hot’.
What else? What else? Fucking God please tell me what else?!
I. Can. Not. Think. Of. Any. Other. Profession. That. I. Would. Be. Good. At.
What do I do? Starve myself to death to avoid my inevitable descent into middle-aged mediocrity? But I’ve already tried that and I’m bored with the self-indulgent narcissism it demands.
What would I be great at? I could watch DVDs for a living. Read books. Look up celebrities on the internet. Browse for weight-loss tips. Tan once a year. Do cryptic crosswords. Eat breakfast at a cafe everyday. Forget to call my parents. Stay up late. Download TV shows. Park illegally. Take mediocre photos and post them on my blog. Buy clothes. Buy cosmetics. Try to find the cure for acne. Eat my own weight in popcorn. Pick up other peoples rubbish while tsking audibly. Write down ideas for outfits I will never wear. Read Amazon book reviews for book I will never buy. Look up IMDb profiles for actors I have never heard of. Doubt myself. Doubt myself. Doubt myself.
I’m so exhausted with the thought of the meaning of the pursuit of fulfilment in life that I cannot even bring myself to think of a way to end this bitter diatri…

On a Perfect Day in Retail: Afterword

It would seem that one of my previous, somewhat politically incorrect entries has been the cause of displeasure in a number of readers. To illustrate:

Anonymous said...
To the retail bitch who whinges about her potential customers... I say... hey without us annoying shoppers you wouldn't have a job lady! Thanks for being so helpful, you'll get no commission from me...< Love "one size does not fit all". At least my food stays down...

Well.
I feel the need to make a few things clear.

Unfortunately for me, when I write I'll willingly forgo self-preservation for the sake of honesty. I'm not afraid to express a particular sentiment where others may decide it best not to.
So writing about the thoughts that occasionally go through my head during my 9-hour days of standing in a tiny space, giving all my care and attention to the complete strangers who walk into my shop, does not mean that these are thoughts I would ever voice, or in fact would have any desire to. Nor are they any different to the private, negative little thoughts that everybody has on a daily basis.
The difference is, I decided to reveal mine for your reading pleasure (or displeasure, it would seem).

But as an addendum to that entry I'd like to say this:
I love my job. Because making women of any age and shape feel good about themselves is a wonderful experience. It's also a service that is largely under-appreciated, due in part to the general perception of sales girls as commission-chasing Barbies. And they do exist, but paradoxically they are the sales assistants who earn their bosses the least amount of money. I, however, earn my bosses a good deal of money because I don't actually care about making money (and for the record, I earn no commissions or bonuses, just a flat, hourly rate). I think all women are stunning, and it breaks my heart when I hear a woman say she'll buy that beautiful dress after she's lost a few pounds, or a teenage girl admit her mother thinks she's fat.
Incidentally, the final, particularly nasty thought expressed in that entry did not materialise in response to the customers weight, but rather to what she was doing to the unpurchased clothes she was trying on; specifically stretching them beyond all recognition with her hands and aggressively pulling at them with no concern for their mass-produced welfare.

So, if I have offended, think but this and all is mended;
I didn't really mean it.

Street style - Drumstress

Sexy style with deadly hair, Cindy Blackman.

Street style - The Quintessential Male Hipster

Denim jacket: check
Dunks: check
iPod touch: check
Pack of Stuyvies: check

Forgotten anything? Oh yeah...
Ray-Bans: worn even at night!

On a Perfect Day in Retail

To the customer who looks at EVERY item on EVERY rack, spending 25 minutes in my 10-square-metres of store space without choosing a single item while I'm stuck looking attentive behind the counter waiting for her to leave, I say:
"This isn't a library!"

To the chinese girl who brings a pair of earrings to the counter and says, "I take the earring", I say:
"You don't want the other one?"

To the woman who knocks on my CLOSED door at 5 past 6 and waves me over after I've mouthed quite clearly that we're closed, I say:
"Do you want to buy something? Do you want to give me some money? No? Then why are we having this conversation?"

To the customer who comes out of the changeroom and dumps a giant ball of inside-out, scrunched up clothing on my counter before leaving I say:
"What am I, your maid?"

To the business woman who can't be bothered bending over to try on a pair of shoes but rather prefers to mash her heel against the leather, I say:
"WOMAN. For GOD'S SAKE. BEND OVER and use your finger."

To the middle aged woman who responds to my "How are you today?" with a "Just looking", I say:
"Hmm, maybe you should get that checked out. I don't know what juslooking is but it sounds nasty."

To the overweight teenager who comes out of the changeroom stretching and pulling at a top that's too small and complaining "It doesn't fit right. My boobs are too big for it", I say:
"Honey, it's not your BOOBS, it's your whole BODY that's too big".

Afterword

Street style - Centre Place

This girl was tiny but absolutely gorgeous; the photo doesn't do her justice. Nothing she was wearing appeared to be from any particular label and certainly not chain-store . The front of the jacket (bought in Barcelona) was embroidered in matching coloured thread and the bag was a wonderful rich blue in canvas with leather. Her shoes were vintage as was her jewelery. This is the sort of outfit I see on dozens of girls every day but the difference here is that it didn't look 'off the rack' but thoughtfully put together.

Street style - Simplicity

Street style - Swanston St

Street style - Harajuku via Fitzroy

You can't quite see it in the photo but the colour of the notebook she is holding perfectly matches her bag and the lower rims of her eyes are lined with the most intense glittery eyeshadow.
She was quite the head-turner.

Street style - Collins St

Street style - Addicted to TV

Dress by TV.
This lovely lady also informed me that the TV store in Prahran (2a Cecil pl) is having a Sale this weekend, which is where you'd find me if I wasn't moving house this weekend and hadn't just joined a gym, but more on that another time.

I am upset because...

... last night I went to the closing party for the Loreal Melbourne Fashion Festival (aka fashion week) held by Oyster Magazine and took stacks of photos of the beautiful, creative, drunk and desperate. Today I connected my camera to upload the photos and, to my great chagrin, found that my CF card had inexplicably wiped itself and left the data storage business.

I apologise to all the people who posed for me who've already gone out and bought tickets to my blog. Your dignity will be returned to you post haste.

Street style - How it should be done

It's fashion week and the streets are being overrun with the tall, the thin, the over-dressed, the chic, the self-important, the awe-struck, the flamboyant, and occasionally, the divine.

Case in point...


When I asked this lady (because she most certainly is a lady) if I could take her picture, her first response was not a shy "Um, ok" or suspicious "What for?", but a very sincere and simple "Thank you". I melted right then and there (so much so that the photo came out a little fuzzy, for which I earnestly apologise).

Street style - Cool Customer(s)

I don't have much to say about these girls except that they were immaculately put together and extremely sweet. They were also very shy so rather than ask them to step outside and pose in the alleyway amongst the lunchtime crowds (like I usually do), I took the challenge of poor indoor lighting and snapped them before they had time to reconsider.

Feed the Trend - Purple

A colour that hasn't really had much sartorial success since the late 90's, purple is experiencing somewhat of a rebirth, and even I'm finding myself drawn to its red-blue stylings.










It's even been selected as the Pantone 2008 Colour of the Year:
"From a color forecasting perspective, we have chosen PANTONE 18-3943 Blue Iris as the color of the year, as it best represents color direction in 2008 for fashion, cosmetics and home products." So there you go.

Feed the Trend - Cropped Beige Trousers

I am in love with this style. It's still a little premature for it to appear in Australia so I went to Savers today and bought a pair of men's beige trousers in a size 30 that can be belted at the waist and cuffed to sit just above the ankle. Sheer brilliance for $7.99.

Street style


At Marc Jacobs


For men


And just because I love him



Images courtesy of The Sartorialist

Street style - It's all about the Specs

Custom-made spectacles from Ispex. It's not too clear in the photo, but they are in the style of Ray Ban Wayfarers. As sunglasses I admit that they're a bit passé, but I love them reinterpreted as reading-glass frames.
I also love her jodhpur-style trousers. I intend to take a trip to Horseland for some black breeches and leather boots. Just between you and me, it's the best place for classic leather shoes and high-waisted, skinny leg pants in fabric that isn't denim.

Street style - Chef's pants

A great example of something stylish and a little imaginative. The girl's pants are from Savers, and at $3 are, in my opinion, a far more intelligent and original choice than what one could find at Alice Euphemia for around $400.
Her friend is also wearing a shirt from Savers with a pair of jeans she lent him.

Street style - Warsaw vintage

It's nice to see something that is simple and stylish, which deviates from the current 'hipster' uniform of high-wasted jeans, tucked-in tee or tank, and white canvas sneakers.

What caught my eye about this girl was the way her blue eyes, blonde hair and dark eyebrows worked with the blue dress to create a look that was striking but simple. The design of the dress is pretty basic but the colour was amazing and she had it hemmed to just the right length to keep it from looking dowdy.

Bonus trivia: The girl bought this dress from a vintage dress shop (Sukienka) in Warsaw where she lived for a year teaching English. This is of interest to me for two reasons:
1) She isn't actually Polish, she just loves Warsaw; and
2) I am Polish and I've never met a non-Pole who's voluntarily chosen to live in Poland.

Street style - Centre Way

This girl comes in to my work all the time and I'm always impressed by her ability to put clothes together, especially for someone so young.
Jeans: Cheap Monday Top: Antipodium Scarf: St Andrew's Market Shoes: Kinki Gerlinki


Bag bought from gift store on Smith St (I have, very professionally, forgotten the name of the shop).


My feet! These Voodoo leggings are fantastic - extremely comfortable with no seams along the crutch area. $40 from Myer but currently on sale for $27. (Shoes from Bloch).